Getting older - or better

A note written by an elderly woman who is getting older, or should I say, getting better! “Remember, old folks are worth a fortune, with silver in their hair, gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet, and gas in their stomachs.  I have become a little older now and a few changes have come into my life. Frankly I have become quite a frivolous old gal. I am seeing five gentlemen every day. As soon as I wake up, WILL POWER helps me get out of bed. Then I go down the hall and see JOHN. Next CHARLIE HORSE comes along and takes a lot of my time and attention. When he leaves ARTHUR RITIS shows up and stays the rest of the day. He doesn’t like to stay in one place very long, so he takes me from joint to joint. After such a busy day, I’m really tired and glad to relax with BEN GAY. What a life ! The priest came to visit me the other day. He said at my age, I should be thinking about the “hereafter.”
I told him, “Oh I do, all the time. No matter where I am – in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen or down in the basement – I  keep asking myself, ”NOW WHAT AM I HERE AFTER?”